The winner of Free Book Friday is . . .
Last week, in one of my regular Free Book Friday giveaways, and to celebrate the publication of a new Robin Hood novel in the Outlaw Chronicles series – Robin Hood and the Heretic Prince – I ran a competition for the best Little John phrase or oath. Those who know my Robin Hood stories, will know that John Nailor, Robin’s giant lieutenant, is fond of employing some rather colourful swearwords.
I asked readers to come up with some more of them and I was surprised by the creativity (and astonishingly filthy minds) of some of my fans. The giveaway has been won by one particularly worthy entrant. But before, I announce the winner, here is a selection of some of the best entries. Warning – some of these are a bit disgusting but, if you don’t mind a bit of crude Anglo-Saxon language, enjoy!
Jason Roberts: “By God’s great hairy, pimpled arse, Robin.”
Nick Brett: “It smells like Satan’s cesspit” or “Was the Messiah on holiday when you were born?”
Trevor Heap: “Our Lord Almighty’s Hairy Crack” or “By the Almighty’s Hairy Crack” or “Hotter than the Devils Roasted Nutsack” or “Holy Mother Trinity’s Saggy Tits”
Richard Smith: “By Moses’s mouldy manhood”
Jaq Bannister: “By Saint Tennant’s shrivelled arse ring.”
Peter Wilkinson: “By Satan’s fiery dangle-berries, that was a close run thing, Alan!”
Also by Peter W: “I’d sooner eat Lucifer’s tingling bollocks, attached, mind, than spend another night listening to you wallow over Tilda bloody Giffard.”
Steven Daniels: “By Joseph’s holy virgin.”
Gary Pearce: “He was as wet as a devil whore’s fanny juices.”
Paul Bernardi: “By the Devil’s hairy ballsack.”
Tom Hawkins: “By Saint Magda’s loose linen!”
Ben Starmes: 1. “Hornier than a stag during rutting.” 2. “About as much use as tits on a nun.” 3. “God’s capacious scrotum.”
And, finally, from Michael Phipps: “By God’s festering arse!”
But the winner of this week’s Free Book Friday is . . . drumroll, please . . . Dave Ladd, with his short but sweet, “By God’s throbbing dingleberries!”
Congratulations to Dave, I will be in contact with him very soon and dispatching a free signed copy of the new book. And if you didn’t win this week, my commiserations and you can always order your own copy of Robin Hood and The Heretic Prince from Amazon, either in paperback or eBook. If you really want a signed paperback, get in touch with me via the Contact tab above (UK residents only, I’m afraid) and we will sort something out. It will probably cost you about £20, including P&P to anywhere in the UK.
One more thing. If you have read Robin Hood and the Heretic Prince or any other of my books, please consider leaving a brief review on Amazon, if that’s where you bought it. It REALLY helps!
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